Online Therapy for Anxiety & Perfectionism in Elkhorn, NE serving all of Nebraska, Iowa, Colorado, Georgia, & Vermont
Trying to get everything “just right” is exhausting.
You struggle with overthinking. Your brain doesn’t seem to shut off, keeping you up at night replaying past mistakes or running through every possible “what if.”
You might tell yourself you just have high standards. And in many ways, that’s true. But it can also mean you’re carrying a lot of pressure to get things right….all the time.
If something can’t be done perfectly, it’s hard to even start. So things get put off… or take more time and energy than you expected. You spend way too long on small decision, worrying about making a wrong decision.
Underneath it, there’s often a quiet worry…
What if I mess this up?
What if I’m not enough?
You may or may not call it perfectionism. But at times, it can feel like your worth is tied to what you achieve.
From the outside, it might look like you have it all together. But on the inside, it can feel exhausting, like you’re always holding yourself to an impossible standard. You feel behind even when you are stretched beyond your limits.
At work, you take on a lot and push yourself hard, which can start to lead to burnout. You might even spend spend extra time rewriting emails multiple times to get the wording just right.
In relationships, you might replay conversations, second-guess what you said, or worry about how you came across. You’ve learned to stay “on” around others. Letting people see the more imperfect, unfiltered parts of you can feel vulnerable, maybe even a little risky. So you keep some distance. It makes sense, it’s a way of protecting yourself. But it can also feel lonely at times.
You can keep your standards—without losing yourself
It’s possible to feel more at ease in your own mind, to quiet the constant overthinking and respond to yourself with more compassion instead of criticism.
You don’t have to keep earning your worth through achievement. You can begin to show up more genuinely, with yourself and with others, and feel more connected because of it.
Together, we’ll work toward a version of balance that actually fits your values, not just what you think you should be doing.
In our work, we’ll explore where your perfectionism comes from and understand how it once helped you. Then we’ll start to actively shift the patterns that are keeping you stuck.
You’ll learn how to relate to yourself in a different way, one that’s more supportive, more flexible, and actually sustainable.
Change doesn’t have to mean becoming someone else, it can mean finally feeling like yourself.
Therapy for anxiety & perfectionism can help you….
Improve your relationships
Improve your work-life balance
Improve your self-talk
Improve your sleep
Improve your ability to live authentically
You don’t have to choose between high standards and self-compassion.
FAQs
What are the differences between anxiety and perfectionism?
Anxiety is a disorder with multiple symptoms including worrying, irritability, restlessness, ruminating thoughts, and affecting sleep, appetite and ability to function.
Perfectionism could show up as a symptom as anxiety or it could be unrelated to anxiety. Oftentimes, perfectionism thoughts can trigger anxious thoughts, but not always.
Perfectionism and anxiety can be related but not necessarily.
Are there different types of perfectionists?
Yes! Here’s a list of different types identified by Katherine Morgan Schafler:
Classic: Highly organized, reliable, detail-oriented, and structured.
Intense: Focused and driven to achieve goals, but can become punitive toward themselves or others.
Parisian: People-pleasing, warm, and empathetic, often focusing on having ideal relationships.
Messy: Enthusiastic, "start-happy" creative types who struggle with finishing in the middle stage of projects.
Procrastinator: Perfectionists who wait for the "right time" or perfect conditions, leading to indecisiveness
Here’s another list identified by this website:
Self-oriented perfectionism: Self-oriented perfectionists have high personal standards, expect to be perfect, and are very self-critical if they fail to meet these high expectations.
Socially prescribed perfectionism: Socially prescribed perfectionists believe that other people expect them to be perfect and that these other people will be highly critical of them if they fail to meet expectations
Other-oriented perfectionism: Other-oriented perfectionists expect other people to be perfect and are highly critical of those who fail to meet their impossibly high expectations.
Overt perfectionism: Overt perfectionists have a very strong preference for order and show increased anxiety when they don’t have order around them. They tend to be opinionated and like to be right and often avoid activities that they cannot do well or don’t understand
Covert perfectionism: Covert perfectionists are “closeted” perfectionists and can sometimes be hard to identify because their actions don’t always match the perfectionistic thoughts in their head. Covert perfectionists tend to have low expectations of those around them and will outwardly say they prefer being average or laid back, yet internally they secretly want to succeed.
So, it depends on the research on how it’s labeled.
Is perfectionism all bad?
No, perfectionism can be helpful. In therapy, we will work together to identify what aspects of perfectionism are helpful and what aspects are not serving you. You will be in the driver seat of what aspects of perfectionism you want to work towards letting go and what ones you want to hold onto.
Another way to look at is there’s the adaptive or healthy perfectionism which leads you to strive for excellence and have high standards while remaining flexible, motivated, and conscientious. But on the other hand there’s maladaptive or unhealthy perfectionism which is driven by the fear of failure, associated with anxiety, stress, and harsh self-condemnation. Which is why therapy can be very helpful for perfectionism to help you explore what parts are helpful and which parts are not helpful.
Can I work with you if I don’t struggle with perfectionism or if I’m not sure?
Yes! I work with many clients who are unsure or haven’t identified their perfectionism and that is part of the work we can do together, exploring perfectionism as a possibility. I also work with clients who don’t struggle with perfectionism and just struggle with anxiety. Read more about my approach to see if I’d be a good fit for you!